Optimism instead of tears

Wake up at 4:30 this morning due to a nightmare about black bleeding eyes (like in Hero's, even though I haven't seen or thought of that in 6 months). Grab my phone and read my work emails - that tends to distract my mind. But then I saved something as a draft and couldn't get it back in my inbox. If it's not in my inbox I will forget to send it. So out of bed and to my office I went to correct the issue. While at the computer I decided it was time to check my feed. It had been months.

For the first time, since ever, I read post after post of cute imaginative kids and precious innocent babies - and I didn't cry. I wasn't even sad about it. I smiled and laughed and had thoughts of "when" instead of "I wish". There were Christmas posts there mind you (yes, I told you I was behind). And nothing. Not a tear.

It was refreshing. I want to see it as a sign that 1.) I'm growing up and learning to deal with difficult things or 2.) a baby is in our near future. Of course either of these is okay. Heavenly Father has a plan for my life and I'm content accepting that plan, whatever it may be. But boy, it would be great if BOTH of these were the case, especially the later.

And finally on a totally unrelated note - Happy Valentine's Day tomorrow!! Please watch out for our DreamUp Studios post later - we need your help if you want to win $200 worth of services. :)