Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Being social

I'm not very good at socializing. Not very good at all. I'm a homebody as my grandma would say. I enjoy being home; I'd almost always rather be home than out having fun. I've been called shy all my life, and maybe that's the correct term to categorize me under but I don't think that's it.

I'm not scared to talk to people (unless it's on the phone - but that fear is about gone think goodness). I just never know what to say. And when I do say something it comes out too soft and no one hears it, or it's too weird and everyone looks at me funny. I have thoughts but getting them out properly is difficult.

I'm also VERY honest. If someone asks me a question I answer it and I tend to shock people with my answers. I'm totally not PC. And I despise small talk (not as much anymore though). I don't like fake people and I have no desire to communicate with them.

So naturally I don't socialize often.

I say all this to lead up to last night - I went to see a movie with some ladies from church. I'm trying to improve myself and work on my flaws, socializing obviously being one of them. Plus Hubs keeps "encouraging" me to make friends.

I figured it would be a good way to ease into the group. I knew where the theater was, I could drive myself and park where ever I wanted (that's often another big reason I don't go to social gathering at people's houses. I don't want to deal with where to park or how to get there).

I got there and waited a minute outside then I saw some of the group and we went inside. The movie, The Help, was really good. Full of laughs and tears.

After the movie we were all gathered around talking and decided to get some food. Denny's was open and close so that was the choice. I said "no" at first, I really missed Hubs, but then decided the night was going alright so far and I had more trying in me.

I talked a bit and listened and nodded and smiled. I think I did alright. I didn't find anyone to be fake or annoying, I was surprised at how comfortable I felt. I expected to feel like a third wheel, since I was new, but I didn't. I was just myself and that was enough (which is the goal - I hate fake people so I really don't want to have to become one to fit in).

I got a Chicken Salad. They talked about children a lot, which is totally understandable since they are all mothers. That part was hard so I ate my salad and thought about something else. I like listening to pick up on advice but it was mostly all stuff I knew and it made me sad that I couldn't relate first-hand or input any funny stories.

Overall it was a good time and I'm glad I went. Hopefully I can go again and eventually come back to this post and see how much I have improved and how silly I used to be.

To those of you who are great socializers, does it sound like I'm on the right path? Any helpful advice?


  1. Have you tried joining a book club? Since small talk isn't your thing this could be a good social outlet. Also, you'd all have something in common, the book you just read, so you could contribute to the conversation.

    Good luck, it sounds like you are giving it a good effort.

  2. I love you sister! You just need me around more often- then you could socialize with ME! And I'd drag you all around Universal Studios and make you talk to all the crazy Potter geeks (cause you know I'm not one of those at ALL)! haha :)
    But yes, I agree with Dan. You should make some friends! Just be yourself and they'll love you for it :)